I don’t like it, but I sure do love it.

This is a re-post of a note I published July 2, 2014 on Facebook. I am transferring my notes from Facebook into my Float the River blog.

I’m not going to lie. I don’t like being where I am. Not geographically mind you (though it is HOT in Arizona!) but contextually. I physically hurt…this body at this age is NOT meant for a life of construction! I miss “my spot”, I miss the pastoral work. My soul aches to get settled again. To be at a place, to have a “spot”, to really “feel” like I am moving ahead with life.

I don’t write this for pity or hoping people will feel badly for me. Not at all. This a good place to be and while I don’t want to be “here”…I’m content to be.

1) I am more sensitive to God’s grace and goodness.

I have often said that I am easily entertained. I can usually find something to enjoy wherever I am. Here though, I am becoming easily “graced”. I see more clearly and more easily the touches of God in my life. The goodness of an overcast afternoon and cooler temps when I have to work outside all day. The fact that I haven’t had a bad allergy day no matter how dusty or windy it is at the job site (unless you have bad allergies, you have NO IDEA on THIS one!!!). The joy of coffee on the patio reading, praying, and watching the wildlife around me. These are simple experiences of God’s goodness in the pain that remind me of Him and lift my head.

2) I am more thankful.

I spend a lot more time saying “Thank you” to God and acknowledging all that comes from His hand. As I am more sensitized to God’s touch on my life I can’t help but praise Him. Things that were taken for granted are now seen with more healthy eyes and heart. In some cases, it isn’t that I didn’t see and appreciate what I had, it is just those things have grown to an even greater value and joy in my life.

3) I have a new view of God growing me.

The change of “classrooms” has been a huge blessing! God has surrounded me with new people and new environments. I am seeing life through new lenses and God is growing me in new ways. I work for an owner who is a solid believer and a foreman who is not. God is using both of them to grow and remind me about life and leadership. He is faithfully reinforcing what I already knew and through this change of venue is expanding my vision of it all.

4) I appreciate having a pastor in my life.

I have friends and I have had colleagues but it has been a long time since I have had a pastor. He comes with no agenda or presumption. I have always had friends that I enjoy the journey with that God continues to use powerfully in my life but it is different having a pastor. I appreciate the investment of his sermons, I enjoy our conversations and meetings over coffee, and I appreciate the undiluted care for my soul he has shown. It is refreshing and freeing to just allow him to care for me with no expectations or assumptions.

I do look forward to the day when I will no longer be in transition. I long to be settled and get on with where God will have us. An important part of that though, is being settled where He has me right now…today.

Jesus thank you for today and your presence in it.

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